when i write….
…perhaps, to heal….
i love…. the texture, the touch,
the sensation,
that….
“feel”
the gentle “click, click, click” of the keys…
….the real deal
is what i need.
yes,
that
energy
the intensity
that amazing…
…………propensity
…………to measure
……………..so tactile
………………that tickle
of pressure
…..of pleasure
yes….
………..this
………..pleasure
i treasure…………
the tender force
………..the power
………..the power
the pleasure……
…………of course
those……. keys…………
………………please……..
delicately tingling…….
……………………the tips
beneath my fingers….
oh, yes…..
oh, yes, yes, yes……….
………………please………
the gentle “click, click, click” of those keys…
the staccato
………vibrato
the tremolo
the tension
the………..drama
that………dimension
……………..beneath
……………..my fingers
between the letters,
the commas
the colons
the quotes
the periods
and
parentheticals
………………the spaces
the shifts
and……….
returns
the tickling
the touch
………….and
the texture……
my fingers
dancing
from key to key to key
………….yes
the texture, the strength…
the power of that…. pressure
that portato……………plying itself
ever…. so………………. softly
then
fingers frolicking frenetically
……flagrantly………………
flaying frantically
in a famously fabulous fortissimo of feeling
reeling
not careening
but………………
laboring, languidly……..
……………………………………..lovingly, lushly
…..a passionate legato
lavished so languorously
so affectionately
……….upon those luxuriant
……….apple-designed
backlit, plastic…keys
oh, yes….. please…….
that………..feeling……………….
that gentle “click, click, click” of the keys…
oh, yes, yes, yes, please…….!
send me swiftly into that next staccatissimo
seriously…….
send me……..screaming
send me……..dreaming
yes!
(breathe)
yes!!
(breathe)
yes!!!
(breathe)
(waiting for my heart to stop racing)
yes.
when i write….
….perhaps, to heal….
i love…. the texture, the touch…..
…………………..the sensation………………………….
that gentle “click, click, click” of the keys…
as…………….. in those moments
i am
the
words
i
type
and not
the face i wear
nor
the body
that causes me pain
……..nor the memories
that bring me shame
no!
my real voice… is….
not damaged by the screaming
of an esophagus
purged of joy
no!
not at all
in those…. moments
my voice
my being
my life
my love
lives
…..yes….
“lives”
within the pixels formed upon the keys of Apple®
born
of my fingers
as much as my thoughts
as much as my being
my seeing
my dreaming
….yes………………
my
being……………..
for in such moments of psycho-physical syncopation
i…….
……..am
quite simply…
a symphony…..
of pixels
a digital ballet
of all that i hope
of all that i pray
of all that i must
spiritually scrub and scour
away
and
away
away
away
yes
empowered
by the magic
the “feel”
“touched”
by the gentle “click, click, click” of the keys…
“YES!”
i have that right
i’ve earned that right
when i write
to
heal
to be
when i write
…perhaps
to
heal
october 12, 2013
© 2013-2021 by ariana sexton hughes