june 8, 2009 – 6:27 am

you didn’t know

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WARNING: This poem may be triggering if you have issues with men, abuse, and/or family.

you didn’t know
what i felt
when that moment passed away
you didn’t know
what i felt
when you kissed
that last lonely tear
the one that went astray

you didn’t know
what i felt
when you lingered
just
a little
too long
when your
fingers
came to know
so much more
than i could ever
[really, truly, ever] explore
but
that
wasn’t
really
the point
because
you didn’t
know
what
i
felt

you didn’t
you
really
didn’t
know?

soooooooo?
why now?

why?
now?

why
would
you turn
and turn?
why?
you didn’t know?
but
were
you
were
you
willing?
were you willing?
to learn?
to know?
were you?
you didn’t know
you didn’t?
how could you?
HUH?

you didn’t know
what i felt
when
you cut me open
inside
when you looked
beyond
my helpless
hopeless
hapless
reckless
feckless
mess
my
unwanted
unwilling
uncomfortable
unmanageable
unforgettable
visage
my unrelenting
unforgiving
unimaginable
mind
you didn’t know
what i felt
when
you reached
inside
when you
reached
the end
of
the
outside
the
inside
outside
in

no.
you didn’t
know.

no.
you didn’t
you couldn’t
you wouldn’t
know
no

how could you?
huh?
how?
telepathy?
serendipity?
extrasensory
perception?
connection?
direction?
psychosomatic affection?
huh?
really?
how could u?

“you didn’t know?”
you know…
i don’t believe you
i don’t

“liar.”
i called you
“ you liar
you lying liar you…”
you turd
you
didn’t
know
what
i felt
when that moment
passed
away
how
could you?
how
would you?
how?

“how?”
“you could have listened”
“that’s how.”
you could have listened
to my breath
to my heart
to the sound
of my tears
to the quiver
in my bones
to the quake
in my skin

“no?”
well
you didn’t know
“ha!”
what
a lie
“you didn’t know.”
was that a scream
in your eye?
you didn’t “know”
what you broke
…when you broke it?
what you took
…when you stole it?
what you killed
when you crushed it?

you didn’t know?
…you really didn’t
know
no?

breathe
well…
I don’t believe you.
I don’t.

 

© 2009 by ariana sexton-hughes, all rights reserved.

 

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